Sorry for the delay on the posts. You could say things have been crazy around here - and I'm sure that's nothing compared to what it will be like when baby arrives!
Typically the homestudy process (aside from the initial paperwork) can last about 2-4 months depending on the family and caseworker's schedules (at least with our agency). Generally couples will have 4-8 interviews. In our case we had 3 meetings, but 4 interviews. The first meeting (I talked about in an earlier post) was at the end of August, we went over the results of our Taylor-Johnson Temperament Analysis results.
In our second meeting, our caseworker met with us at home to create and discuss our genograms. A genogram is basically a family tree. We made one for each of our families and discussed family member characteristics, relationships, and dynamics. I really gained a lot of insight during this time with our caseworker and studying our genograms. I was able to see where I have gotten certain characteristics as well as grasp a better understanding of how we want our child(ren) to be raised by looking back at specific relationships and events in each of our lives.
Our third and fourth interviews actually took place on the same day at our home (about a week after our 2nd interview). She also came to our home for this meeting. She met with us individually (which is considered 2 interviews) and we discussed various things from where we are in the grieving process from infertility to what we are looking forward to the most about being parents to specific strengths and weaknesses in our marriage. Afterward, she met with the two of us to discuss how we answered each of her questions - and we were right on! Either we are amazing at communication or did a great job coaching each other on what to say beforehand! ;)
During this process, our caseworker also took a look at our home - to verify we had the number of bedrooms, bathrooms, etc we had indicated on our form. She also wrote down the type of flooring, landscaping, etc. Then she is also required to be sure any firearms are stored properly as well as checking for gates around pools.
So the big questions.... where are we in the process now? and when do we get to bring our baby home?
Where are we in the process now? We are currently waiting for our caseworker to compile all of the information she gathered during the homestudy process and write a report. She then shares it with the staff at the agency and then will send it off to the courts for certification! So in the meantime, she has asked us to get our matchbook letter ready for October!
When do we get to bring our baby home? Once we are in the matchbook next month, it could literally be ANY day! The average wait is 1 year, but our caseworker thinks it could be sooner! :) Honestly, your guess is as good as ours! I can faithfully say that God has chosen a perfect baby for us, and he or she will bless our home in God's perfect timing!
When we were attending the adoption classes, 1 couple that spoke to us about their experience with adoption actually had both of their daughters at home within 5 weeks of being in the matchbook! The first adoption was a hospital call I believe, where a birth mother had given birth and decided at the hospital she was ready to place her baby for adoption! The 2nd adoption, they were matched with a birth mom who was about 8 months pregnant just after being in the matchbook again, but baby decided to come earlier!
There's also a very real possibility we could be matched with a birth mom, and she could change her mind or something could change in her situation to where she would be able to parent her child and provide a safe and loving home. In that case we would be heartbroken, but know that this particular baby wasn't meant to be a physical part of our family, but will probably always be in our hearts and prayers. We can only trust (and let go of the handlebars!) in God's perfect plan and hope we were able to make a positive impact in that family's life - or it may be we will forever be impacted by our experience with them!
"My thoughts are nothing like your thoughts," says the Lord.
"And my ways are far beyond anything you could imagine.
For just as the heavens are higher than the earth,
so my ways are higher than your ways
and my thoughts higher than your thoughts."
Isaiah 55:8-9 NLT
We don't have any idea what God has in
store for us in these next few months or so, but we do know He has
something wonderful planned regardless of how it happens for He makes
all things work together for the good of those who love Him (Romans
8:28).
Please continue to pray for protection
for our baby as he or she is growing and developing, pray for our baby's
birth mom and her situation, and pray for our strength as we patiently
wait for God's perfect plan to unfold in every aspect of this adoption
from finances to timing!
