Class 1 - "Introduction in the Adoption Experience"

So tonight was our first adoption class, and boy, does it feel more real than it has in the past few months!  Before class, I was extremely excited to begin this part of the certification process as well as meet other couples in this process.  If I am THIS excited NOW, I can't even imagine how I will be when we get the well-anticipated placement phone call!  I even had to force myself to eat dinner before we left!

I'm pretty much wide awake at this point now that we are home from our first class, and it's the night before the last day of school!  My brain is on overload to say the least.  Tonight we went a mile wide and an inch deep in the adoption process (laws, homestudy process, placement, writing a match letter, etc.).  We went over what our life may be like over the next 12-18 months, give or take and even stretching to the next 18 years of our child's life. We will have to put our faith in God now more than ever.  As hard as the past 2+ years of infertility have been, I can see how God has used that time to prepare us for what may lie ahead.  I think there will be many ups and downs, a lot of unknowns, and waiting just as we have experienced, but isn't that how life is?! So thankful to serve a God who knows us and loves us.  He knows what we can handle and how far to stretch us!  He is bigger than anything we may face!

This class also helped me process what the birth parent(s) are going through.  I look forward to learning more about this in the weeks to come.  I'm not sure if I could ever express my gratitude enough to our child's birth mother for her strength, selflessness, and bravery!  This pregnancy isn't planned, and yet she is willing to put aside any embarrassment or shame to choose life for her baby.  Then after carrying this baby for 9 months, once again chooses life for her baby and places him or her into our arms.  When our baby is born, she will be saying hello and goodbye to him/her all at the same time.  It hurts to think that when we leave the hospital with our baby and are overwhelmed with joy, she will be leaving with empty arms and overwhelmed with heartache.



Side note - I do have to say my favorite part of this whole night was on the way home.  I was driving and Bobby was "resting his eyes". Out of no where he says, "Our match book letter is going to be a pop-up book!"  Ha! I love that he was thinking about how to market us better! ;)The match book letter is basically a resume/advertisement the agency will give to birth mothers to help them choose a family for their baby (and is only 2-dimensional. Ha!).

The process so far

Thanks for joining us on this journey! :)  Here is where we are currently -

Last Monday (the 16th) we met with our assigned caseworker for the first time.  I have to say, I was beyond excited and so nervous - this was the lady who was going to decide whether or not we are a "healthy" family and would be allowed to adopt a baby!  I really had to pray before we met her, because I knew God is really the one who decides if we are capable of being parents, but couldn't shake those feelings.  Instantly when we met her, the nervousness melted away though.  She was so sweet, and it was so easy to talk to her!

She asked us things like how we came to the decision to adopt, how would we raise a child to love and know God, about our testimonies, and our marriage.  We also had the opportunity to ask her questions, and of course, I had nothin'!  Thankfully we left with her contact info and can email her day or night! 

We also left with a mountain of paperwork!  Some of the things included in the paperwork are the Taylor Johnson Temperament Analysis (we each fill this out on ourselves and then each other), packet of questions on our childhood and how we plan to raise our child, fingerprint cards, financial worksheets, forms for our dr. to fill out after we get physicals, etc., etc.! This paperwork usually takes couples 4-6 weeks to fill out.  Once it's turned in, the home study process can begin.

We have registered for our agency's adoption classes, which start in a week!!!  There are 7 classes total covering these topics: "Introduction in the Adoption Experience", "Infertility: Grief & Loss in Adoption", "Healthy Adoption Experience", "Raising the Adopted Child", "The Birthparent Experience", "Covenant and Commitment" (because this is an open adoption, we will create a covenant with the birthparents as to how we will stay in contact with one another - more info on this later!), and "Special Needs & Cross Cultural Adoptions".

We're not in Atlanta anymore, Toto

Ever wonder why things aren't going according to YOUR plan? Maybe things are going perfectly and accordingly to GOD'S plan! 

About a month or so ago, I posted this blog post by Pastor Steven Furtick to Facebook.  If you haven't had a chance to read it, do it NOW!  I love that my thoughtful husband shared this with me, knowing it's just what I needed to hear.  Maybe it's just what YOU need to hear right now! 

http://www.stevenfurtick.com/spiritual-growth/hubs/

Pastor Steven Furtick uses the analogy of airline flights.  Sometimes, in order to get to Philadelphia, your desired destination, your plane stops in Atlanta on the way there.  It's in the complete opposite direction from where you are headed!! Whether you like it or not, your plane stops there and there's not much you can do about it.  Our intended destination has been to grow our family - a non-stop flight to Philadelphia, but instead God took us to a layover in Atlanta first - unexplained infertility.  When the flight landed, I was far from excited.  I wanted to race into the cockpit and question the pilot - Really God, Atlanta?! What am I doing here?  Didn't you hear my requests to go straight through to Philadelphia?  Look right here - the ticket I paid for says non-stop from PHX to PHL. (notice how that was all about me - "I...", "I...", "I..."?!?)  After hanging around in Atlanta, I got over myself and I began to realize it wasn't such a bad place after all - if we hadn't stopped there, what would my faith look like today? 

While I learned a lot from my stay in Atlanta (and hopefully will be blessed with the opportunity to help others navigate through it's streets and freeways!), I am so very excited to be on our way to Philadelphia!!! So excited to be a passenger on God's flight!  There may be some turbulence along the way, but life is so much better when you LET GO OF THE HANDLEBARS!

Babies R Us, Pregnant R Not

Over the past couple of years, I have had the opportunity to shop for expectant friends and family members.  It was always a bittersweet feeling, one I can't really describe, roaming the aisles filled with all things baby! Of course I was overjoyed with excitement for those mothers and soon-to-be mothers, but deeply saddened, because I wanted nothing more than to be shopping for a baby of our own!

We got to visit our "old" church today on Resurrection Day!  On the way back home, we decided to see if Babies R Us was open - they sell these super cute frames that say "I Love Grandma!" on them.  We were going to give them to our moms for Mother's Day and make our adoption announcement.  They actually were open today, but were out of the frames! Gotta come up with Plan B!

Anyway... We walked into BRU, and it was an amazing, exciting feeling!  Today we were now shopping for our baby, no one else's - OURS!  It was so fun to look at all the little clothes (they now sell Under Armour baby clothes- how cool is that!?  Bobby was especially excited!) and roam the aisles filled with all things baby!  During this fun shopping experience, it got me thinking though and was able to talk to a good friend who is going through the adoption process about it afterward.  When we are shopping, it's not obvious we're expecting although we are expecting... a baby through adoption!  I don't have the protruding baby bump or the tell-tale pregnant mama waddle.  When sales associates approach us in the store, will we hear things like, "Who are you shopping for today?" "Are you looking for a gift?"  "Wow! You're buying a crib? What a generous gift!" 

Please don't misunderstand me, I am beyond thrilled to be able to adopt a child!  Just wanted to take a moment to share my thoughts as a mom-to-be, who happens-to-be adopting!  Every day I dream about what our baby will look like! Will he or she have dark hair, red hair, blond hair? Will it be curly, wavy, or straight?  Will our baby have brown, green, blue, or hazel eyes?  Will our baby be Hispanic, black, white, Asian, or all of the above!

Why No Handlebars?

"No Handlebars" came from a conversation we had a few months ago (even before we requested info from the agency!) after I posed the question, "Do you think we should start a blog about our adoption journey?"  After the "Yeah, that sounds like a good idea," I immediately responded with, "What should we call it?!?!"  Those of you who know me well know sometimes I forget the details and head straight to the "fun" stuff especially in the beginning stages of a thought, plan, etc.!  I began throwing out names to Bobby (because of course I had already been thinking about it for days!) and none seemed to fit our lives and the amazing faith journey God has taken us in the last few months (aside from adoption).  Somehow, out of nowhere (must be God's idea then!) one of us threw out the idea of "No Handlebars" and it was perfect for two reasons - First, Bobby is an avid mountain bike rider and thinks all things bike are pretty sweet! Second, as I mentioned before, we have been on a faith journey and I, for one, have been learning to TRUST and put all of my faith in God, and He has blown me away with his awesomeness when I do that! So we are letting go of the handlebars in our ride through life, not just in adding to our family, and letting God steer!

Paperwork - I hear this is only the beginning!

It's so strange posting to a blog no one yet knows exists - although somewhat therapeutic.  Until we share the big news (CAN'T WAIT!) I guess it's more of an online journal than a blog! Anyway, we received our paperwork almost 2 months ago, which was just a couple of days after contacting the adoption agency. Not sure if I have ever been so excited to get mail before - let alone mail that involved paperwork!!  After spending some time in prayer and wanting to wait until our house sold, we began to fill it out a couple of weeks ago.  Bobby is the rational, thoughtful one and helped me come to the realization of how important this paperwork is, and we shouldn't just rush through!  He reminded me God has chosen a baby for our family and regardless of how soon I turn in the the application, God would give this little blessing to us in His time - not mine! Lord, you picked a perfect partner for me!

For those of you who may be new to this whole adoption thing (like us!), the initial paperwork consists of adoption FAQs, state requirements, our adoption agency's definition of a healthy family, a list of adoption fees (wowza! but God will provide!), an explanation of open adoption (description of "open adoption" will be another post, another day), list and explanation of adoption classes, and the parts we fill out - parent (us! we're going to be parents!!) information sheet, statement of faith (because we are going through a Christian agency), and a pastoral reference.