Good Grief

Is grief ever good?

Grief is funny.  It sneaks up on you and can surprise you, but maybe on this day I surprised it. On Friday, Bobby and I headed to the Dr. for physicals for our adoption certification.  One of the questions the dr. has to answer on the physician's report for our agency is "Is there any reason this individual cannot have children of his/her own?"  I saw the doctor write on Bobby's form, "Wife unable to conceive," and for a split second it hit me.  Grief.  But it didn't overtake me.  It was almost as if a needle pierced my skin to draw blood.  I felt the pinch briefly, but then it was over just as quickly as it began.  Was it always that "easy"?? NO!!!  From now on, will it always be that "easy"?? Not sure, but here is what I do know -

The Bible talks about grief.  It doesn't say that it's unacceptable.  It doesn't say you are wrong for grieving.  When Lazarus died, Jesus wept openly, even though He knew He would soon bring him back from the dead.  Jesus, in all ways perfect, grieved or felt sorrow in stories throughout the Bible.  Whether or not He grieved because He was troubled or because He empathized in each of these stories, it shows He is a God who cares.  If the Creator of the Universe grieves, and we are created in His image, then isn't it OK for us to do the same?

Beth Moore writes, "God's Word never said we were not to grieve our losses.  It says we are not to grieve as those who have no hope (1 Thess. 4:13). Big difference."  Solid faith does not prevent someone from grieving, but because of our faith there can and should be hope as we grieve!
  
3 steps to recovery (CBN.com)
Grieve -  Though grief is bitter, we must let sorrow run it's natural course.  Isaiah 53:3b describes Jesus as "a man of sorrows and acquainted with grief."  Denying or repressing pain can lead to emotional problems.
Believe - We need to put our faith in God's promises, trusting that our Heavenly Father knows best and that His understanding is perfect.  Isaiah 55:9 says, "For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your ways, My thoughts than your thoughts."
Receive - God desires to give us comfort, but we need to reach out and accept it.  Through prayer and meditation on His Word, we can find a place in God's presence where He will wrap His arms around us as a loving father would console his hurting child.

How you can help others who are grieving (CBN.com)
-Ask God for guidance in when to speak and what to say.
-Encourage the bereaved person to share his or her feelings, then be a good listener and don't judge what is said.  Romans 12:15b says, "Weep with those who weep."
-Avoid platitudes. Let the person feel sorrow without implying that he or she should "cheer up" or "be joyful in the Lord," as this could give impression you are questioning the person's spirituality.
-Don't push or preach, but if the person indicates an openness, pray and share meaningful Scriptures.
-Do simple things without being asked, such as bringing a meal or mowing the lawn.

Loss can hit us at any moment, but we must remember it is good to grieve, and allow ourselves to do so!


"For everything there is a season, a time for every activity under heaven. A time to cry and a time to laugh, a time to grieve and a time to dance." Ecclesiastes 3:1, 4.