It's been awhile... Sorry for the delay! The past two weeks have definitely been crazy - testing the incoming kindergarteners, training, meetings, setting up my room for the new school year, Parent Orientation, Meet the Teacher Night... well, you get the picture!
This class was by far my favorite, and the one I have been looking forward to the most. It has been the desire of my heart to not only be a mom, but a mom in a multiracial/multicultural family. I think it's a beautiful and amazing thing when God combines people from different cultures, backgrounds, race, and ethnicity to create a family. It mirrors all of us as 1 family - His family - 1 unit - as the body of Christ across the world.
On this night, 2 sets of parents came to speak about their experiences with adoption - 1 family has adopted 2 children with special needs, the other has adopted 2 children cross culturally and are in the process of adopting their 5th child. They spoke about how the public has perceived their adoptions - good or bad. Specifically, the family who has adopted outside of the parents' race, talked about how in Phoenix, generally people are accepting of their family, but experienced something very different when they visited Chicago. On one occasion, they went out to eat as a family. They waited... and waited... and waited some more... to be served, and yet no one came. Finally, the hostess who sat them came over (embarrassed) and said, "I guess I'm your server today!"
Unfortunately, not everyone is going to be OK with our decision, just as not everyone is OK with the two of us married (Bobby - Hispanic, and me - white) or that I wear jeans all summer long or that I might wear white shoes after Labor Day! - that's the kind of world we live in - people judge (I'm guilty of it too!), but we do have to be conscious and aware of how this may affect our child in the future. Thankfully our family and friends are supportive of our decision and will love on our child and celebrate his/her heritage with us. If it weren't for their support, I don't think this would necessarily be a healthy decision for our child.
If you are considering becoming transracial adoptive parents, please also consider the following points from "Transracial Adoption: Then & Now" by Sherry Anderson,
-Consider race seriously: Avoiding a characteristic as significant as race of an individual is to deny the value and beauty of that part of the person.
-Explore your capacity to be comfortable with difference: Are you anxious if you stand out, if people stare at you or confront you? Do you feel less than okay if you are different from your peers?
-Be honest with your family and friends as you plan and dream: Listen to their reactions. Think about the level and type of support they currently provide and how much you need them in your life.
-When thinking of adoption older children whose cultural/racial background is different than yours, be aware of their cultural experiences to date: Have they always lived in homes of their culture? Do they have life experiences with persons of the majority culture, not counting their caseworker? Are they able to express fears and concerns they may have based on these experiences?
-Survey your community-schools, places of worship, playgrounds. Who is there? Will your child find role models and peers who look like him/her? If the answer is "No," are you willing to relocate and integrate yourself into a community that does offer positive cultural experiences for your child?
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